Pssst. Want a job?

Agencies :mad: don't get me started on agencies!

I think they left out c++, qbasic, python, perl, java, actionscript, CFM, photoshop, Quark, Foxpro, MySQL,

After all might as well throw these in for good measure

Oh hang on

Surely Dreamweaver and Frontpage experience, as well as Apache, IIS, php asp, and flash?

oops forgot those must be well rounded in our skills base :rolleyes:

strangely had a discussion along these lines where I found myself explaining it would be a cold day in hell before someone was found that had the skills being asked for even at basic level, is it a wonder that there are so many IT positions going ? they can never fill them looking for super IT guy

You're going to need;
Flex, Flash, Delphi, Ruby (on rails - of course).
PostgreSQL, MS-Access, Excel Macro programming, 8086 assembler, Turbo Pascal, Fortran and Cobol.

And since it is a lutli-national, you'll need superior x.509 experience to enable logging into web applications against the corporate identity tree. As a result you'll need Novell e-Directory, Active Directory, SunOne exposure.

You'll need to know how to adminuister all of those trees too!
Don't forget the requirement to be able to use AND install SSL certificates. Heck you just know you're going to need to be PKI master for this job too.

Have I left anything out? perhaps... but hey I am sure you already know it all anyway.
Oh and that salary we quoted??? well that includes Superannuation and other benefits too... so you're take home pay might just let you aford the heating bill in summer!

forgot all those suddenly feel really inadequate and newb like! I can write a smart MS-Dos batch file though wonder if I should put that on my CV?

Please sir... allow me to grovel at your feet...
The mighty DOS command line user! (although I'd be mighty impressed if you included superior skills in XTREE GOLD on your CV!!

That job description is a nonsense.
There is very little possibility of having someone that is a "gun" at all of those technologies. It isn't even like they are "like" technologies either...

I could understand someone knowing HTML/CSS and then C/C++/Java - but add in all the others too and you're looking for someone that doesn't exist.

Don't get me wrong... I have used nearly all the technologies they are requesting... but I certainly wouldn't be in a position to say that I am a capable developer in them all. I have had exposure to them, had a requirment to integrate some of them together in the one application or as an interface between separate applications - but that's about it. And the pay they are offering isn't anywhere near enough to be a good developer in all those technologies AND have the skills required to mentor junior developers.

Surely the pay should be in the order of 55/60k pounds - going upwards depending on management skills/experience?

XTREE GOLD! I remember that, memories

They shoot themselves in the foot with these requirements for people that just don't exist, and you can probably nearly double that 50k a year if someone were a true programmer with experience;

Don't forget the Norton tools either...

I remember calibrat(e), scandisk, there was a command line and a gui version of them all.

There was a microsoft product too that did like system reporting but I can;t remember it's name for the life of me

Hmmm, the good old days... I remember my very first Hard Disk 10 MB $1,200. Back in the days when 1MB RAM was massive and 2MB made you a god. Not the god, just a god - Of course you had to have a 286 to make use of any of the RAM that was above 640k!

Using Desqview for multitasking and Qemm for memory management.

The days of dial-up BBS's and FidoNet mail system!

Someone once told me that computers were going to make my life easier.
I'm still waiting for that day!

You had a hard disk! :shocked:

ah the days of fiddling with dos = high UMB etc just to try and squeeze an extra 20k for the system.

Happy simpler days where booting up meant shoving floppies in

had QEMM also played with the GEM GUI which was I think the forerunner of all GUI's

I don't recall that one... might have been something local to the UK?

The money I wasted on Computers! Upgrading from 300baud to 1200, to 2400. I remember when 9600 and 14.4k came out.... you knew you were the king when your BBS had two lines with 14.4k modems. (wasn;t me mind you - I only got to one line at 9600 before I joined the navy for ten years...

I remember Bill Gates saying that PC's would never need more that 64k ram - not even for military use. I hear Vista needs 1 GB to run nicely and 2 GB to really have any legs at all... Looks likes he didn;t get that one right - doesn't it?

It was the original processor designers that had said that no machine would ever need more than 64k or whatever it was, hence all the tricks employed when finally memory sizes increased and a method had to be found to actually use that memory thus we used himem.sys and other fun stuff to work round things.

I remeber Bill Gates stating that the internet was not going to be that important and that MS would not be concentrating much in the way of resources towards it, egg, face, splattered all over?

I think it was a couple of years later that he turned round and said "the Internet is really important and that they (MS) would be devoting much energy towards it he he

My first computer was an original 4.77MHz IBM PC. Cost about

Surprised you hadn't heard of GEM it was the first real GUI and excellent for it's time long before Windows arrived on the scene.

http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Vista/6148/gem.html

Not UK only. There were a couple of GUI's for PCs before Windows came along. They staggered along for a short time until Win3 and finally Windows for Workgroups killed them all off.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graphical_Environment_Manager

Hercules video card!

I rememebr that!

I remeber going from a monochrome green monitor from CGA to EGA to VGA. Yeah 64 shades of green! It was ages before I got a colour monitor!

What was that game where there were two birds black and white; and you got to choose which one you wanted to play? Can't remember the name for the life of me... but you bacially tried to kill each off on an island...

I don't remember any GUI prior to windows. I only ever used DOS prior to joining the navy. And in the navy we used Unix or OS/2.

I do remember spending a lot of time playing Duke Nukem 3d though!

Duke Nukem that was about the best scrolling platform game

Of course looking at the GEM link Chris dropped reminded me that there was an excellent alternative to MS-DOS in DR-DOS which was far better if I recall correctly.

Just managed to find a complete set of MS-DOS 4.01 / 5.00 disks and I must therefore have 6.00 lying around somewhere I never get rid of anything :rolleyes:

and 3.30

and found a copy of Amstrad Counterpoint

http://web.ukonline.co.uk/joe.gentile/Text/amstradCP.htm

and Ashton Tate Framework II

Don't forget PC-DOS.

And if I recall correctly things shifted quickly to MS-DOS 6.21?
I'm pretty sure there was a 7.0 too before the windows GUI took off, wasn't there?

I still can't remember that bird game....
yes I can.... Spy Vs Spy!

Cassette drive never that dependable

I think that DOS 7 was the last version that Windows then road on for a few years. The last version of DOS I remember installing was 6.2 (ah just found the disks) I'll have to open a museum

iirc MS-Dos 7 was the version number under Win95.

also iirc, 3.3, 5.0 and 6.21(?) were the best Dos versions.
like wfwg 3.11, 95, 98SE and XP were the best for windows.

speaking of museums, when I installed WinNT4 in VM to get IE5 (I couldn't get W98SE* to work) it came with a fully working copy of IE2!

* doh! I've just discovered its an upgrade disk. I should have installed W95 first!!

also iirc, 3.3, 5.0 and 6.21(?) were the best Dos versions.
like wfwg 3.11, 95, 98SE and XP were the best for windows.

speaking of museums, when I installed WinNT4 in VM to get IE5 (I couldn't get W98SE* to work) it came with a fully working copy of IE2!

* doh! I've just discovered its an upgrade disk. I should have installed W95 first!!

Start again

So you're going to be testing layouts in IE 2.0 then , that'll be fun

I remember installing MS-DOS 4.0 and it was a disaster that version never did work correctly and MS had to rush out 5.0 iirc which was streets ahead anyway , but 6.2/1? was the best they produced.

1 or 2? I loved the flamethrower in Duke2 that you could use as a makeshift jetpack

dun know what number but it was the funkiest platform game and yes I seem to recall the flamethrower so must have been 2

In Duke Nukem 3d you could go an relieve yourself at the "gents"
and pay the strippers up on stage to flash for you!

There was a multiplayer (lan game) option too for it - it was tops!

Dya know, I prefered DOOM. I made a multiplayer version with the Simpsons characters (duff beer for health, well, you get the idea). We had it networked with a mod so eight of us could play it on the network at lunch.

I remember playing Team fortress a little bit... was that built on the doom engine?
I just rememeber playing the spy and pyro a lot. The sniper was good too for a change if I was feeling lazy and couldn't be bothered getting into the action!

Currently I play a reasonable amount of Day of Defeat (the half-life /HLII mod).